Dear Ashton – Husband’s “Money Matters” Are Hurting Our Marriage

Dear Ashton: I am in my second marriage, and we have been married for less than 3 years. My husband and I divide all of the household responsibilities and expenses. We have separate bank accounts and we each pay our bills from our own accounts. I have a budget for how much I spend on bills monthly, and I try to stick to it closely. Lately, I feel like my husband is taking advantage of me because he uses up the household items I purchase and does not replace them. He does not even think about my budget and the added expense his actions cost me because I’m the one who has to go buy more. I don’t think it is fair that I have to continue to replace items that he uses freely without considering how it affects me. I do the things I am supposed to do, and he should do the same. Why doesn’t he just replace the items he’s used instead of waiting for me to do it? This is happening every month. I am frustrated, but I have not said anything to him about it. But I know he can tell something is not right and it’s hurting our relationship. Am I wrong for thinking this way???

— #MoneyMatters

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What Am I Saying To My Children?

My nine year old son recently told me that he was ‘trustable.’ I chuckled when he said it because, honestly, I did not think it was a real word. To my surprise, it was real!

Here’s a little back-story… we were having a conversation and he felt like I didn’t trust him to take care of his headphones. He was right, because his track record for breaking them was strong. However, when he said that to me with sincerity, I stopped and realized I was conveying the wrong message to him. I was trying to make him behave more ‘trustable,’ but was actually making him feel less ‘trustable.’ I was making my negative expectations clear – I expected him to break the headphones. That is the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted him to take care of them. How had the lines of communication gotten so twisted? Easy – and it was my fault! (more…)

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